What is it like to have a diagnosis of Mild Cognitive Impairment?
It is scary as all heck. As I stated in Blog#1, I have a very good grasp of Alzheimer’s and other Dementias. I have taught classes on this subject to many different groups. As mentioned, before I a am on the Board of Directors for the Arkansas Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. I have asked the Executive Director that if she thought that maybe I need to step down. She says no. She says that I have a vast knowledge of the disease and could be invaluable to others. I have held many Support Groups and Mentored several other Support Group Facilitators. That is the problem. I know what is going to happen to me. I know how it is going to affect my family.
Sometimes I get very depressed and very sad, even to the point of crying. I think of what my Wife of 49 years has got to go through. We have a great relationship imbued with the present of God in our lives and marriage. I have to rely on that presence in my day-to-day activities.
There are days that I don’t even want to go out of the house. There are days that I only want to go out and just drive around to get my mind off of my situation. When I am at home and feeling down, I would go to my laptop and listen to music or to my Mindful meditation links. It seems that music really takes my mind off the day-to-day struggles.
I have always been person that could multitask on a daily basis. Now I am single task orientated. If I am doing something around the house and I get distracted, I have difficulty in getting back on task. It is very frustrating at times. Another issue that I have is communications. I was used to b able to talk everyone’s ears off. Now I stumble for words that I know. The words are in my mind but I cannot get them to come out of my mouth. My wife know that I am having difficulty and would finish my sentences. I ask her to not help me all the time. I want to try to get out the message that I am trying to say. She is very patience with me. I have encountered others that I feel aren’t as understanding. It is very frustrating.
As mentioned before, my mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. We keep my mental and physical issues away from her. I don’t want her to have to worry about me when she is going through her adventure. Sometime it is very aggravating to be with her since she is hard of hearing and won’t wear her hearing aids whenever she can find them. I too am hard of hearing. We normally got to her room in her facility and talk since we seem to b yelling at each other. It really gets to Edie. We visit her every week and bring her candy, puzzle books and cards. Her room is like a furnace. Edie sometimes has to leave the room to go to a common area to cool off. I stay to be with mon. It is not easy to be with her when I am feeling down. It is going to get worse.
I am seeing a therapist every week at the VA. She is great. She will listen to all my thoughts and concerns without judgement. She is encouraging and uplifting. I feel better after our sessions. I look forward to our sessions I feel very comfortable talking to her about any and all issues. At first Edie and my daughters went with me to the sessions. Sometimes it is only Edie that goes with me. They can fill in the gaps of the events of the past week since our last session. I am very open to the therapist on all matters; I am not ashamed to talk about it. It is good to get it off my chest and not be judged. Many times, I have even cried in out sessions because of the subjects we discuss. She and Edie are very supportive. Since the COVID is getting worse in our area, the VA has limited to visitors to the clinics to the Vet only. I worry that if it goes to that, I will be in the sessions and not remember all that I need to talk about. So far so good.
To wrap this up for today, I want to encourage you to get informed about dementia and how it effects the person and family if you have a loved one with dementia.
The Alzheimer’s Association is a great source of information and support. Their website www.alz.org has a tremendous amount of information about all different forms of dementia. Try it out.
The Association has a crisis line as well. If you are in need of a personal touch, give them a call. All the individuals are highly qualified to help you. Their number is 1-800-272-3900. It is on line 24 hours a day.
My Journey with Dementia 