It has been a few months since I have attempted to write a new blog. There have been a lot of things happening since Blog #9 As I have written before, I have been dealing with severe back pain radiating down both legs. I was at my wits end. Nothing that was tried was not working. There was 8 weeks of physical therapy, 9 sessions of chiropractor manipulation, and many doctor visits. I finally got an appointment with the Neurosurgeon. It only took one visit with him for him to determine that I did need some surgery. I had already had an MRI, CT scan and X-rays done so it was evident to him that there was definitely something wrong. He said that I would be paced on the surgery list. He said it may take 1 to 2 months till I would have the surgery. With COVID During this same time I was seeing a therapist working on my heightened anxiety. There were 8 of those sessions.
I received a call from the VA that they were restricted to doing only emergency and urgent surgeries. Since the back surgery was (is) classified as elective surgery. That was very curious to me. Would it be prudent to get the surgery to relieve my pain? I was offered to be outsourced to a civilian Neurosurgeon. He came very highly recommended. So, it was a no brainer for me. I accepted the offer. Had the appointment with the new doctor. He was very thorough at describing what the surgery was entail and that I would go home the same day if there were not any complications. Surgery was scheduled. So off to the civilian hospital for the surgery. By the way it was two weeks not months. Surgery happened and I woke up in a hospital room. It appeared that there were complications. My spinal column was nicked and leaking. Doctor had to use some medical super glue to close it up. I stayed flat o my back for 4 days in the hospital so that the doctor was sure that there was not anymore leakage. Finally got home. It has been about 7 weeks since the surgery. I must report that I am totally pain free. It took 7 years of trying this and trying that to get to this point. The only therapy that I have is walking as much as possible. I am doing as much walking as possible without getting too tired or hurting. The surgery site is still sensitive but not that bad. I praise God for how I feel.
During this time, I was still going to therapy for my anxiety. When it was coming to an end the therapist notice that may be have associated depression as well. My wife notice that I was not as happy as I normally am. She said that there was not joy in my face. What ever that is. We were hoping that the anxiety was due to the constant pain. Sometimes I do feel down and out. We both thought that it would go away once I had the surgery. It did not. The pain is gone but the unhappiness is still there. It is hard to explain how I am feeling. Really, I don’t know how to explain it. I just feel down most of the time. Is it due to the surgery recovery restrictions? Is it the fact that my memory is waning? Who knows? All know is that there are days that I just want to be alone and just sit and watch tv. I also want Edie to be with me more. That also adds to more depression that I am being a pest to her. I rely on her so much. I don’t know what I would do without her.
I have my research in depressive state of people with dementia. I have all the classic symptoms. Wanting to be alone but not too far from my wife. Crowds are difficult. My filter is not up to par. I get agitated very easily. So, I will be do some more therapy for depression. The good thing is that Edie gets to go with me and hear all of the conversations. That way she can help me with some of the strategies that we will need to work on. It is just the beginning of how much I will be needing her.
If any of you are having a loved one that has depression due to any form of dementia, please get help for yourself and for the loved one you are taking care of. The Alzheimer’s Association has a lot of reference material on the subject. Go to http://www.alz.org to get the information and help you need. Take care of yourself.
My Journey with Dementia 